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  • Writer's pictureNathan Tersteeg

Introducing Carmichael Don QuI

I've started another Instagram for my new intermittent gig, writing for Anthony Meloro and Jay Domingo's new Mystic Punks zine. I was invited to do a Bullpin Bulletin-style letters to the editor column, a thing all three of us used to read in 80s and 90s Marvel comics, which was often fan mail, detail griping or sometimes the noticing of a continuum error or continuity flaw in the comics. These flaws were rewarded with the coveted "No Prize" which was literally no prize beyond having your letter published.

Through some steps of thinking about the project, I decided to use a recent character I'd been playing Mystic Punks who had recently been ushered out of gameplay by his marrying an NPC, the Spider Queen. And so "Charmichael Don Qui: Undead King of the Spider Wife" came to be. Here's the artwork I did for the column:

Here's a sample of the wisdom Don Qui has to offer:

Dear Mr. Don Qui,

My wife insists that the film "Phantoms" is a the best ghost movie ever made, citing what she calls the "expert performances of Ben Affleck and Liev Schriber." Every time I mention another movie that I think is better at utilizing ghosts, she hisses at me and asks if Ray Donovan is in that movie. I let her know that of course Ray Donovan isn't in classic 1963 version of The Haunting, but she just throws food at me and hisses more.

I know this might seem trite, but can you settle an argument for me and let my wife know what the best ghost movie is?

Signed, Haunted by Hissing

Dear HbH,

Believe me, I know how dug in people can get about their opinions on movies. Some of the worst movies I've ever seen have some of the most vocal supporters (my son won't let up praising Up in the Air, for some reason, a fact that's led to dozens of "come get your kid" phone calls). So to hear that your beloved is unleashing a bowl of spaghetti on you for caring enough to call into question her insistence on Phantoms being the pinnacle of ghost-themed film, I can feel the tension in the air like I'm there with you, watching hot marinara ruin the upholstery.

But here's the catch. She's only wrong on a technicality. See, the issue is that unfortunately, and in defiance of the excellence of Peter O'Toole's amazing performance, Joe Chapelle's adept direction and the undeniable excellence of Dean Koontz' book as the source, PHANTOMS IS NOT A GHOST MOVIE. The supernatural entity that stalks Rose McGowan and her sister is an ancient evil called the Ancient Enemy, based loosely on an old friend of mine who ancient tribes had lots of names for, but who's actually named Pete Goolsbury. Pete's had a few crazy tales whipped up by horror authors who stumbled onto old legends that he sparked, but no one gets them perfect, and most importantly to this letter, PETE IS NOT A GHOST. So sorry to your wife, but she's way in the wrong here, and you don't deserve to be harangued by her. Please dole your vengeance mercifully, as her foolishness indicates her not just in the wrong, but a dullard.

The best ghost movie is obviously Ghosts of Mars.

I fancy myself a bit of a humor writer, and have worked on a couple of other silly projects over the years. I'm super excited to keep going with this character and this fun project!


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